Today was a pretty awesome day. I spent time with like-minded women that have goals and aspirations. I got to be part of a photo shoot... even though I hate taking pictures. And I went out to eat with people I've never eaten with before, my least favorite thing to do. I thought I felt comfortable enough to do so, and I did okay. Last night I had a panic attack. It was the first one I'd had in a while, and I don't even know what triggered it. Maybe stress. Maybe exhaustion. Maybe nothing at all. This time, while I was panicking, I tried the "four square" deep breathing technique. This is when you imagine that you're drawing a square, and you inhale for the first line, exhale for the next line, and so on. I learned for this to be effective, you CANNOT be in the middle of the attack. I was already experiencing numbness in my feet, palpitations, nausea (and general stomach upset), dizziness, and the room was starting to go dim. I sent my sister a text. "I'm having a panic attack", it said.
"I read something on what to do... Think of 5 things u can touch, 4 things you can feel, 3 things u can smell, 2 things you can taste... Are u ok??" By then I was starting to feel better. "Spell your name backward... in your head." I did. I felt much better after that.
As I calmed down, I realized that I couldn't remember what I was doing before the attack came on, and that bothered me. The more I tried to remember, the fuzzier the memory became. So I gave up. I started researching articles about how to get out of a panic attack. I also looked up articles about anxiety and memory loss. I found some interesting information (click on the links in this paragraph). But they were all missing a little something. None of them really seemed to pertain to me. Some missed the "why". Some had so much of the "why" it didn't have the "how" or the "what if" or the "gurl, you AIN'T crazy!" part. I especially need that last part.
Anyway, when I first decided to start a page for articles on this site, I was going to upload research articles and catalog them. Then I realized that this would be boring. I don't know too many people that want to read research articles, I don't even enjoy reading them that much. Then I thought maybe I could find a Master's prepared person to submit articles, but then there's the whole timeline thing, and I would have to still have to read the articles; and who would be qualified... who... who... whooooooo... And then it occurred to me that I am both Master's prepared and qualified to research the information! And write the article!
So I'll be Definitely Digging for information about eating disorders, disordered eating, anxiety, and depression, and I'll be sharing these articles with all of you. If you don't see a blog for a little while, that's why.
Stay tuned.... New page coming soon!