Definitely Mothering

When I started this project, I promised myself that I would update this blog every day for the month of November. I skipped yesterday, but with good reason. Yesterday, after working all day, I worked in the visitor's side concession stand at the high school football game. Not because I love making nachos, but because they need volunteers. And it's a decent way to raise funds for my son's band trips. He's a senior now, and last night was senior night. They recognized the seniors in the band at halftime, and I got this lovely rose, and my husband got a really nice pen...

It was really surreal because 17 years ago my son and I were homeless and I was pretty much broke and without transportation. I was 21 when I had Rock, and I was learning a lot of life lessons at that time. I don't think I necessarily did anything wrong, I just wasn't doing anything particularly right. I didn't know what the right things were, though, and I think I lacked guidance, and support, and a mother when I really needed one.

I gave birth without any family present. And then it was just me and this tiny, hungry human who I was now responsible for. I cried after I had him because I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I even thought that he might be better off with some other family, but a smart woman talked me out of that... one day I need to thank her. Mothering Definitely changed my life.

Rock and I grew together, and I figured in order to be a good mother, I would have to make sure that he got all of the things I was lacking. I refused to believe that I would "raise a moron" or any of the other negative things I heard. I just kept being the mother that he needed. And I didn't always know what I was doing, but I tried super hard. I still don't know how I made it work. (God had a hand in a lot of that...) Looking back, neither of us should be doing as awesome as we are, and yet, here we are. There's a bigger plan for him. 

One thing I know for sure is that being a mother saved my life. Rock made me try harder to be successful. Rock loved me when nobody else did, and he gave me a reason to press on when I felt like life was no longer worth living. He's almost an adult now, and the thought of him leaving breaks my heart. I've never lived one day of my adult life without him. But I do know that, as part of being a mother, I have to support him when he leaves too... 

One day he will have a wife and children of his own. He will have a career, probably in music, and he will own a home. He will be successful and people will look up to him. He has such a big heart, and I can see him helping any and everyone that he can. While I'm sad to see him go, part of me can't wait to see what kind of change he can make in this world! I can't imagine what Rock can't do to make this world a better place... all because he got love. -ND